The Game of Thrones Drinking Game

By Noah Kaufman |

© Macall B. Polay

Can you believe it’s almost time? The Game of Thrones premiere is on April 6, so start getting your friends’ parents' HBO Go passwords ready (don’t worry, it’s totally cool to do that). There’s no better way to enjoy the sex, violence and betrayal in Westeros than with some organized drinking.  Here’s how we’re going to play:

When the title sequence plays, take a shot.

Not only is a quick drink a good way to start the show, but this is the only title sequence on television you shouldn’t fast-forward through. Watch this and try not to get excited.  

When Tyrion insults someone, take a drink.

I’d say take a shot, but you'd probably die.

Whenever someone talks about Rob, pour one out.

Because we miss him terribly. (Consider this a belated spoiler alert for anyone who is reading this but has managed to avoid the other 8 million Internet posts that reference the Red Wedding.)

Make anyone take a shot who asks, “Who's that guy again?”

If you’re a real fan you don’t need to ask. If you aren’t you don’t need to know. So stop making us pause!

If you actually see Tywin Lannister pay a debt, take five shots.

For him, "A Lannister always pays his debts" seems to be the “Just do it” of Westeros slogans—very catchy, mostly meaningless.

Take a drink for every required-by-HBO sex scene.

Because it wouldn’t be a Sunday night on premium subscription cable without a little T&A.

Whenever you think about killing Joffrey yourself, take a drink.

It’s the only way to keep your rage contained.

When Bran uses his powers, take a shot.

If, in addition to being a no-nonsense cop, Blair Underwood could have controlled the actions of a direwolf, Ironside would still be on NBC. Just saying.

When Sam does something surprisingly heroic, take a shot.

He’s brave(ish) and he knows how to cook. If he gets over that whole vow of celibacy thing he’ll be the perfect man. Am I right, ladies?

Take two shots when Daenerys puts all the men around under her dragon-wielding thumb.

If you didn’t think she meant business by the end of last season, you will probably be in for a very rude awakening.

Recommended beverages: Ommegang Take the Black Stout or any mead you can find.

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